The estranged parent way forward Assessment
Discover What's Possible When You're Estranged From Your Adult Child
You can't control whether your child comes back. But you can change what happens next.
Approximately 3 minutes • Confidential • No judgement
Martyn Eggington, family estrangement and enmeshment coach
When your relationship with your son or daughter has become distant, difficult or completely broken down, knowing what to do next can be incredibly difficult. Should you reach out? Give them space? Apologise? Try to explain? Or stop trying altogether?
This confidential assessment takes around 3 minutes and is designed to help you step back from the emotion and understand what may be happening.
You can be successful in almost every area of your life, and still feel completely powerless when your adult child will not speak to you.
You may be used to solving problems, being responsible, being capable. This is different. It cannot simply be solved through effort, logic, status or money. That does not mean nothing can be done.
Why this feels different
A coach who has lived it, not only studied it
Martyn works with parents facing difficult, distant or estranged relationships with an adult son or daughter. His approach is drawn from his own experience of family estrangement and enmeshment, alongside 22+ years of recovery and personal development.
- Trauma informed, grounded and calm
- Balanced, never anti child, never shaming
- Private and confidential from the first step
How the assessment works
Answer 10 confidential questions
Short, thoughtful questions about where the relationship stands and how it is affecting you.
Receive your relationship profile
A personalised picture of the pattern you may be experiencing right now. Not a diagnosis, a starting point.
Discover your next step
Understand what may be within your control, and the most constructive thing you could do next.
An honest promise
I cannot control another adult's choices. I can help you understand the relationship, and change what is within your control.
That means changing unhelpful patterns, communicating differently, establishing healthier boundaries, and rebuilding your own emotional stability and sense of identity. This is about the possibility of healthier relationships, not a guarantee of reconciliation.
Take the first step quietly, in your own time
No sign up beyond the assessment. No pressure. Just a clearer understanding of what may be happening, and where you could go from here.
Approximately 3 minutes • Confidential
How confident are you that you understand your adult child's perspective?
out of 10
How confident are you that you can communicate without becoming emotionally overwhelmed?
out of 10
Your assessment is complete
Your answers have highlighted several important areas in your relationship. I've created a personalised relationship profile based on your responses. Enter your details below and I'll show you your result.
Your relationship profile
You may be an Urgent Reconnector
Your answers suggest that this relationship matters enormously to you, and the possibility of losing it is creating a strong urge to do something.
You may find yourself wondering: Should I send another message? Should I apologise again? Should I explain what I meant? Why aren't they answering me?
That reaction is completely understandable. When we love someone and feel them slipping away, doing nothing can feel almost impossible. But there is an important distinction between trying harder and creating the conditions for a healthier relationship.
Sometimes repeated contact, explanations or attempts to resolve everything immediately can unintentionally create more pressure. Your first step may not be to contact your child. It may be to understand the pattern between you.
That means learning how to regulate your own response, understand what may be happening from your child's perspective, and communicate without turning every interaction into an attempt to resolve the entire relationship.
You don't need to give up. But you may need to approach the relationship differently.
A message from Martyn
Before you decide anything, watch this
Your relationship profile
You may be a Confused Parent
One of the strongest themes in your answers is uncertainty. You may genuinely feel: "I don't understand how we got here."
You may also be thinking about everything you have done for your child and wondering how the relationship could have deteriorated despite your intentions. This is one of the most painful aspects of adult child estrangement.
Intention and impact aren't always the same thing. You may have intended to protect, support, advise or help. Your child may have experienced some of those same behaviours differently.
Understanding that distinction doesn't mean accepting every accusation or deciding that everything was your fault. It means becoming curious. What did they experience? What did you experience? Where did the pattern begin? And what, if anything, can you change now?
That is often a much more productive starting point than trying to establish who is right.
A message from Martyn
Before you decide anything, watch this
Your relationship profile
You may be a Protective Parent
Your answers suggest that part of you may be struggling to reconcile your child's experience of the relationship with your own.
You may sometimes think: "That's not how it happened." "I've always done my best for them." "They've misunderstood me." "I've already apologised."
Those thoughts don't make you a bad parent. When someone we love appears to reject our version of events, feeling defensive is a very human response.
But there is a question worth exploring: Can you understand your child's experience without having to agree with every part of their story?
You don't have to abandon your own perspective. You can become curious about theirs. And sometimes that is where a different kind of conversation begins.
A message from Martyn
Before you decide anything, watch this
Your relationship profile
You may be an Exhausted Parent
Your answers suggest that this relationship has been taking a significant emotional toll. You may have reached the point where you're asking: "What else can I possibly do?"
You may have tried contacting them. You may have apologised. You may have given them space. You may have explained yourself. And yet you're still left with the same painful uncertainty.
You may not need another strategy for getting your child to respond. You may need a different way of living with the situation while remaining open to the possibility of change.
That means learning to separate what you can influence from what you cannot control. You can work on your communication. You can examine your own patterns. You can establish healthier boundaries. You can decide what kind of parent and person you want to be. But your adult child ultimately has their own choices.
You don't have to choose between hope and acceptance. You can hold both.
A message from Martyn
Before you decide anything, watch this
A confidential conversation
Private Estrangement Clarity Session
A confidential conversation about your relationship with your adult child.
If you've reached the point where you don't know what to do next, this session gives us the opportunity to step back and look at the situation objectively. During our 45 minute conversation, we'll explore:
- What has happened in the relationship
- Where things currently stand
- What you've already tried
- What may be contributing to the current dynamic
- What is within your control, and what may need to change
- What your realistic options are from here
This isn't about deciding whether you are a "good" or "bad" parent. And I won't promise to get your child to speak to you. The purpose is to understand the situation and determine whether I can genuinely help.
You will not be judged in this conversation
I have sat where you are sitting. I am not here to tell you what you did wrong, or to take a side between you and your child. Whatever you have felt, said or done, none of it will shock me and none of it changes how I will treat you.
You do not need to arrive with the right words, a tidy story or a defence prepared. You can be honest, uncertain, angry or upset. This is a private, confidential space to think clearly, not a place to be assessed as a parent.
45 minutes • Confidential • No obligation
Almost there
Choose a time for your Clarity Session
Share a good number and a preferred window, and Martyn will confirm your confidential 45 minute session.
Your Private Clarity Session is booked
Thank you. Before we speak, take a few minutes to think about three things:
- 1What happened?
- 2What have you already tried?
- 3What would you most like to be different?
You don't need to prepare a perfect explanation. Just come as you are. I'll see you soon.
Martyn